Friday, January 14, 2011

Failure

This dieting thing is so freaken hard, I've done really really bad this week, after a really good week last week and i just failed this week, i really don't know what happened, monday i just started craving things like crazy, then again this week is that time of the month and i always get crazy cravings during this time, usually for coke, but i quit sodas so that is 1 thing I at least have still been doing good at, i haven't touched a soda since last year, and i don't plan on touching another soda either.  The problem is i've mostly been snacking on to many things, i need to try to forget about snacks and just focus on 3 meals a day, but thats hard to, i don't usually like to eat breakfast, and i haven't really been picking the greatest things for breakfast, like today i way way went overboard and ate some chili i had leftover from lunch yesterday with some cheese dip and some chex mix and 2 orange pillsbury rolls, oh my god did i go overboard and now i feel like total crap, my stomach is killing me, and part of me wishes i could just puke it all up, but i'm not going to go down that road, i chose to eat it so i have to suffer the consequences and deal with the calories and the stomach ache that comes along with it.  I need to figure out why i eat this stuff and try to train myself not to eat it anymore, i mean i have egg beaters egg white stuff in my fridge i could have cooked me up some egg whites, with a half a grapefruit, or some greek yogurt blended with frozen bluberries and a packet of splenda but no i went the easy route and just microwaved stuff that was in the fridge, oh but i had to use the oven to make the orange pillsbury biscuits, i guess at least i only ate 2 and not 4 or the entire container worth, but they're still there calling my name.....but at least my stomach is so stuffed i can't put anything else in my mouth, and by the time i am ready to eat another meal they will have gotten cold and i don't really care for them anymore after they've gotten cold, they loose they're charm and i'll be more likely to save them for after dinner dessert for my husband and stepson for tonight.  Oh and the chili i ate was wolf chili with no beans, the regular kind, ugggg, when i go shopping again and buy chili i have to remember to get the wolf brand turkey chili which is like less then half the calories as the regular one and tastes just as good, i also need to remember not to eat it with a bunch of chips or crackers, just get maybe a serving size of whole wheat crackers to go with it or eat it by itself would save the calories, see i know what i need to do, i know what foods i need to change, but if i have it in my house i don't like to waste food, at least i sent my parents home with most of our bad foods when they were here for christmas, but they ran out of room in there truck for me to give them all of it, so of course rather then throw it away i'm using it up....maybe i should just gather all the unhealthy non parishables and donate them to the women's shelter here in town, that would probably be a better idea then using them up myself. 

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